Season 9

Two and a Half Men

Season 9

Sep 19, 2011 24 episodes

A new chapter begins when internet billionaire Walden Schmidt moves in, bringing fresh energy, wealth, and more absurd adventures to the Malibu household.

Episodes

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Episode 1

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

4.5
Sep 19, 2011 21 min

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

People Who Love Peepholes

Episode 2

People Who Love Peepholes

5.0
Sep 26, 2011 21 min

Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Episode 3

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

4.8
Oct 03, 2011 20 min

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

Nine Magic Fingers

Episode 4

Nine Magic Fingers

4.4
Oct 10, 2011 21 min

Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Episode 5

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

5.1
Oct 17, 2011 20 min

Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

The Squat and Hover

Episode 6

The Squat and Hover

4.6
Oct 24, 2011 21 min

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Episode 7

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

5.1
Oct 31, 2011 19 min

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

Thank You for the Intercourse

Episode 8

Thank You for the Intercourse

5.5
Nov 07, 2011 21 min

When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.

Frodo's Headshots

Episode 9

Frodo's Headshots

5.6
Nov 14, 2011 21 min

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Episode 10

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

5.1
Nov 21, 2011 21 min

Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

What a Lovely Landing Strip

Episode 11

What a Lovely Landing Strip

5.2
Dec 05, 2011 20 min

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Episode 12

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

4.8
Dec 12, 2011 21 min

Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Episode 13

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

4.9
Jan 02, 2012 20 min

Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.

A Possum on Chemo

Episode 14

A Possum on Chemo

5.3
Jan 16, 2012 20 min

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Episode 15

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

5.1
Feb 06, 2012 21 min

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Episode 16

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

5.4
Feb 13, 2012 20 min

Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

Not in My Mouth!

Episode 17

Not in My Mouth!

4.0
Feb 20, 2012 19 min

Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

The War Against Gingivitis

Episode 18

The War Against Gingivitis

4.7
Feb 27, 2012 21 min

Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

Palmdale, Ech

Episode 19

Palmdale, Ech

4.6
Mar 19, 2012 21 min

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

Grandma's Pie

Episode 20

Grandma's Pie

4.3
Apr 09, 2012 21 min

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

Mr. Hose Says "Yes"

Episode 21

Mr. Hose Says "Yes"

5.5
Apr 16, 2012 21 min

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey

Why We Gave Up Women

Episode 22

Why We Gave Up Women

5.8
Apr 30, 2012 21 min

Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.

The Straw in My Donut Hole

Episode 23

The Straw in My Donut Hole

4.9
May 07, 2012 21 min

Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn’t so sure it’s deserved.

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Episode 24

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

5.3
May 14, 2012 21 min

Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.